OK… so really touchy-feely subject… dating. Not my cup of tea and I am so out of practice. One of the issues I have had to come to terms with is my lack of dating. I used to think that the right guy was just not showing up but it turns out it was I who hadn’t been showing up at all. In full complete honesty, I wouldn’t date the 225-lbs me. It’s a heartbreaking truth. I didn’t love me, I didn’t care too much for me, so no wonder that I didn’t attract anyone or noticed if anyone cared because I didn’t.
So I decided I would show up to my life. And it’s been great: I have lost weight, I eat better, I am healthier. Since I am fairly new to town (I used to live here but now all the people I knew moved), I had to get creative. I joined a few groups through MeetUp and have made some like-minded girlfriends… but no boys. I have met very few guys in the months I’ve lived here and none have been interesting (or interested). So yesterday MY MOTHER mentioned online dating. I figured, when your mom wants you to try online dating things have really gotten bad.
I started a profile on one of the many sites available. It’s one of those that let’s you get started without paying. So far I have had over 10 people visit the profile but I gotta pay to communicate and I haven’t decided yet. On my profile I decided to go with brutal honesty. I mentioned my weight loss journey and highlighted my four dealbreakers: smoking, religion, education, and political views. I figure that I don’t want to waste anyone’s time, including mine.
This site lets you pick your faves. Going through the profiles of potential mates (what a horrid phrase), this is what I have learned:
1. You can tell a lot by the pictures people upload to their profiles.
2. All these body-types are incredibly relative. The variety of men describing themselves as “fit” or “athletic” is mind-boggling.
I used “curvy” and then in my intro paragraph added: “I don’t know what the difference between curvy, a few extra pounds, and big and beautiful is. I found all those terms too relative. I said curvy because that will hold true as I continue to lose weight.” — What do you think?
3. I couldn’t believe the instances of spelling and/or grammar errors in some people’s profiles. A huge turn-off.
Well, there you have it. I don’t know if I’ll have the nerve to finally pay and give this whole online dating thing a fair shot. I know I should but I am taking baby steps. Any words of encouragement or comments about your own experience with dating or online dating while overweight will be appreciated.