I’m considering online dating

OK… so really touchy-feely subject… dating. Not my cup of tea and I am so out of practice. One of the issues I have had to come to terms with is my lack of dating. I used to think that the right guy was just not showing up but it turns out it was I who hadn’t been showing up at all. In full complete honesty, I wouldn’t date the 225-lbs me. It’s a heartbreaking truth. I didn’t love me, I didn’t care too much for me, so no wonder that I didn’t attract anyone or noticed if anyone cared because I didn’t.

showup

So I decided I would show up to my life. And it’s been great: I have lost weight, I eat better, I am healthier. Since I am fairly new to town (I used to live here but now all the people I knew moved), I had to get creative. I joined a few groups through MeetUp and have made some like-minded girlfriends… but no boys. I have met very few guys in the months I’ve lived here and none have been interesting (or interested). So yesterday MY MOTHER mentioned online dating. I figured, when your mom wants you to try online dating things have really gotten bad.

I started a profile on one of the many sites available. It’s one of those that let’s you get started without paying. So far I have had over 10 people visit the profile but I gotta pay to communicate and I haven’t decided yet. On my profile I decided to go with brutal honesty. I mentioned my weight loss journey and highlighted my four dealbreakers: smoking, religion, education, and political views. I figure that I don’t want to waste anyone’s time, including mine.

This site lets you pick your faves. Going through the profiles of potential mates (what a horrid phrase), this is what I have learned:

1. You can tell a lot by the pictures people upload to their profiles. 

onlinedatingpics

2. All these body-types are incredibly relative. The variety of men describing themselves as “fit” or “athletic” is mind-boggling.  

onlinedatingweight

I used “curvy” and then in my intro paragraph added: “I don’t know what the difference between curvy, a few extra pounds, and big and beautiful is. I found all those terms too relative. I said curvy because that will hold true as I continue to lose weight.” — What do you think?

3. I couldn’t believe the instances of spelling and/or grammar errors in some people’s profiles. A huge turn-off.

badspellerbadinbed

Well, there you have it. I don’t know if I’ll have the nerve to finally pay and give this whole online dating thing a fair shot. I know I should but I am taking baby steps. Any words of encouragement or comments about your own experience with dating or online dating while overweight will be appreciated.

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6 comments

  1. You should go on Tinder. I did it and it’s great. Or at the very least it’s good practice to get back into the swing of things. I have met some pretty attractive, intelligent, funny guys. Do it!

  2. I tried pof and met quite the odd assortment of guys lol only one lasted more than one date and he turned in to a friend that I see so infrequently he could need a kidney and I wouldn’t know *rolls eyes* I say stick with joining groups/clubs/sports etc that way you see whose an oddball right away and can avoid them lol 😉
    having said that, good luck with your foray in to online dating! 🙂

    1. Lol thanks for the feedback on POF. I was just checking it out today. With your comment I will pass. If I do dive into this I’ll pay for the service. I figure that if we are paying it’s because we are a bit more invested. I’ll update on the blog if I go for it.

  3. Haha I’m JUST about to do a post about Dating… Tinder is a fickle place, well in NZ it is. I have some friends who have found their boyfriends off it but in my experience they are mostly strange horny men. But that’s just me, must have a strange horny magnet on? My advice after being on a few online dates is, not be too nervous because they are also nervous and guys have just as many hangups as women (they just don’t talk about them). Have fun with it, if he’s weird, just laugh and enjoy your weird night!

    1. lol thanks for the encouragement. I’m thinking Tinder may be better for the younger crowd and in bigger cities (neither is my case). You bring up a good point, if I’m nervous chances are they are too. Thanks you!

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