Throwback: It’s hard to look back sometimes

workshop-button-1This week, Kat at Mama’s Losin’ It provided some really fun writing prompts. I was having a hard time deciding which one to do (that would be fun and relevant to my blog) and finally settled with #4 Throwback time! Share an old photo and tell us about it. 

I wasn’t sure how back I wanted to go but I finally landed on this one:

Puerto Rico, March 2012

Mar Chiquita, Puerto Rico, March 2012

This was my first, and to date, only trip to Puerto Rico. I had a good time, I won’t deny that. I traveled with friends and visited friends who live on this beautiful island. However… and it’s a big HOWEVER, I remember how uncomfortable I was in my bathing suit. I’ve always been real about my body and for the most part I have always accepted my body. As I gained more and more weight I tried not to think about my weight and my body when I got invited to trips and outings but sometimes I couldn’t really silence myself.

As I look at this picture and the many others from that trip I can’t help remembering the hard time I had packing and deciding what I could and could not wear and then while I was there deciding what I would in fact end up wearing. I remember struggling to keep up with my friends as we walked through town. It feels so silly to remember but I felt I couldn’t say that I was tired or hungry because I felt ashamed… yet, I did nothing to change those feelings.

As I look at this picture NOW… I have two thoughts: 1. It’s amazing how much you can fake; and 2. I need to get back to Puerto Rico and do a reshoot of this picture.

regret

Advertisements

8 comments

  1. Definitely amazing how much we can hide or push back. I’m glad you hung on to the photo, I think follow up trip is never a bad idea! 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s